I am submitting this thought today to those who would be kind enough to look it over and correct. Before you tear it to shreds, I would like to know if I'm getting anywhere. ie...can/could you understand it at all without my English version posted below. It is my attempt to express some frustration and confusion I have right now in a relationship in which I find myself. I have posted questions below for all to answer. Help me! Illuminate me! Who is my girl and will she wait for me? I hope so. Flapping as hard as I can!

Frustrachas agus Mearbhall Faoin Cailín Nua
By: Féabar MacMaolain 13 Meán Fómhair 2011

Bhuail mé leis an cailín nua dhá bhlían ó shin. Bhí sí an difriúil agus nios dheise na aon cailín eile a bhuail mé riamh. Is cailín lach í. Is duine go h-álainn í . Cailín chomh sin nior bhfaca mé riamh i mo shaol. Nuair a chonaic mé a t-aghaidh an chéad uair, thit mé fein i ngrá leí go tobann. Bhí iontas orm leí. Bhí cailín sin durúndá. Cé thaitín sí liom, níl sí mo chuid fein. Leitheid sin le an cailín níor aitne agam urthi riamh.

Nuair a thosaigh mé an caidreamh leí, d’éirigh na fadhbanna chor ar bheith laithreach. Ní raibh compordach dom a chaint leí, ach smaoinigh mé urthí maidin ‘s oiche. Cheap mé (agus ceapann mé fós) gur beadh mé an fear dí lá eigin. Bhí sé ar m’intinn agam tochmharc a dhéanamh urthi. Níl eagla orm rá libh gur breá liom í agus ba mhaith liom fanacht leí an chuid eile do mo shaol.

Ba choir dom alan rudaí a rá leí, ach níl na focail ceart agam. Sin é an rud mearbhall agus frustrachas orm. Creidim gur feidir liom í a chaill. Tá orm mé féin a chur in iúl, ach níl a fhios agam conas é a dhéanamh. Bhuel. Faigheann mé féin leí gach lá, agus guíonn mé go mbeidh sí foighneach liom. Deirtear go bhfuil sí ar cheann de leannán is foighnaí an domhain. Tá dóchas orm go bhfuil sin é ceart. “Tá cailín állainn ar thug mé grá dí”. Cé he sí? An gcreideann sibh go fanfidh sí orm?


New Words: mearbhall - confusion
Frustrachas-frustration
Ar cheann de leannán is foighnaí – one of the most patient lovers
Tochmharc – wooing
Mé féin a chur in iúl – to express myself

Frustration and Confusion about/Concerning The New Girl

I met the new girl two years ago. She was different and more beautiful than any other girl that I ever met before. She is a pleasant girl. She is a lovely person. Such a girl I’ve never met before in my life. When I saw her face the first time, I fell in love with her suddenly. I was amazed. That girl was mysterious. I liked her, but she wasn’t mine. I never met a girl like that before.

When the relationship began, the problems arose almost immediately. I wasn’t really comfortable talking with her, but I thought about her morning and night. I thought (and I still am thinking) that I could be the man for her someday. I was thinking about wooing her. I not afraid to tell you all that I love her and I would like to stay with her for the rest of my life.

I should say alot of things to her, but I don’t have the right words. That is the thing that is confusing and frustrating to me. I believe I can lose her. I have to express myself but i don’t know how to do it. Well. I find myself with her every day, and I continually pray that she will be patient with me. The say that she is one of the most patient lovers in the world. I hope that it is true. “There is a lovely girl that I gave my love to”. Who is she? Do you all believe that she will wait for me?

Very understandable. I'm not much with grammatical terminology, but I'll correct as much as I can, and I'm sure others can explain if need be. A quick glance tells me that there's more spelling mistakes than actual grammatical errors, which is a good thing

...Faoin gCailín Nua
...leis an gcailín
dhá bhliain ó shin
an-difriúil
níos deise
ná aon chailín eile dá bhuail mé riamh léi(this is definitely a place which will need explaining. I hope I have it right myself.
Is cailín lách í
Is duine álainn í
Cailín chomh sin nior bhfaca mé riamh i mo shaol - Ní fhaca mé cailín chomh hálainn sin riamh roimhe seo
Nuair a chonaic mé a haghaidh don chéad uair do + an = don (for the)
thit mé fein i ngrá léi go tobann You may usually see "léi" at the end of the sentence here, but what you have is OK I think
Bhí iontas orm (why is léi there?)
Bhí an cailín sin mistéireach* I'm not familiar with the word you have, and can't find it in the dictionary. In any case, you need the "an" there. I would find it more natural, though, to say Ba chailín (mistéireach) í which is closer to "She was a (mysterious) girl"
See next post

OK the next sentence: what you have in Irish is slightly different to the English. it should be: Cé gur thaitin sí liom, (I think this is an indirect object case? Even though I liked her, ach níorbh liom í She wasn't mine (as in "I didn't own her")
Níor bhuail mé lena leithéid riamh roimhe seo I'd never met the likes of her before this (time)

I'm sorry I'm not much help in the grammatical department I hope pointing out the mistakes helped a bit. What I've said said should ideally be confirmd by someone else first, though. I'll try to correct another paragraph later.

A Ghumbi:

Thanks so much for the interest and comments. Once all have had a go at it I'll try to do a carefully corrected version preceded by questions as to why each commentator has said what (wow...that's a hard sentence).

Slán agus go raibh maith agat as do trachtaireachtaí!
Féabar

I’m feeling lazy today, and probably won’t get any work done, so I’ll go through this whole thing and make loads of corrections in red.

(Some of my corrections might deviate from Gumbi’s, since we have different dialects—I can’t remember which dialect you prefer, but I’m using Ulster here, though keeping dialectisms to a minimum. I’ll also try to stick to the words you’ve chosen to use in each instance, rather than rephrase the sentence entirely, if I can)



Notes:

1. If you say aon chailín eile a bhuail mé riamh, the girl becomes the direct object of the verb buail, which means ‘hit’; so you’re saying she was different from any girl you’d ever hit before—not quite the intention, I suspect. ‘Meet’ is buail le, so you need the preposition there. You could also say ná aon chailín eile lenar bhuail mé riamh.
2. I don’t think it’s possible to translate the ‘I find myself’ bit literally here. That’s a very English expression. I can’t think of any way to express the nuance of meaning it implicates in Irish; I think you would simply just say ‘I’m near her every day’.
3. A couple of general typos you seem to consistently make: ‘with her’ is léi, not leí; ‘of her’ is di, not dí (that’s the genitive of deoch ‘drink’).

_________________
Not a native speaker.

Always wait for at least three people to agree on a translation, especially if it’s for something permanent.

My translations are usually GU (Ulster Irish), unless CO (Standard Orthography) is requested.