Taoiseach wrote:
This is a toughie ... but I'll give it a shot anyway. Please wait for correction - and correctors please note the rhyme in the final line, is there any way to keep that?
Go raibh domhan lán-mianta ag do cheannais agat,
Dia agus a aingil ar do thaobh,
Go raibh agat cairde agus clann le grá istigh
Agus Beannachtaí Gaelach i do chroí.
Nice work, a Thaoisigh. It is usually not easy to keep the rhyme in these things. Traditional Irish "rhyme" is more about agreement of main vowel sounds between lines than same sounding endings, although I haven't attempted to keep to those rules either.
A few points:
English "you" can be both singular and plural, but in Irish you have to choose. I agree with using the singular here as it is a written blessing and each person can then read it as if addressed to him or her individually.
In English we say "a world of ..." but I think the Irish idiom is
an domhan ruda/de rud, i.e.,
an domhan oibre,
an domhan sibhris,
an domhan daoine, etc.
Clann means only "one's children or descendents", and doesn't include parents or other relations -
cairde gaoil is a set expression that means "friends and relations". Otherwise,
muintir or
teaghlach would be preferable to
clann.
I think
Gaelach has to have a final -a in the plural, i.e.,
beannachtaí Gaelacha.
Tweaking Taoiseach's translation in light of the above, perhaps:
Go raibh:
An domhan mianta ag do cheannais agat,
Dia agus a aingil ar do thaobh,
Cairde gaoil ag tabhairt grá duit
Agus beannachtaí Gaelacha i do chroí.Await further input ...