a story

franc 91 · **Posted:** Thu 15 Sep 2011 9:51 am

Here's how it continues -
But I have it tonight may ye have it
fifteen times better tomorrow night,
or if not may ye not lose in the attempt
but the front teeth or the back teeth
a slice of the jaw
or a lump of the gum
or maybe the tooth that's furthest back in your head
to be for a staff in your hand.

so here's my attempt at it -
nó ní gcaillte agaibhse san iarracht
ach na fiacla tosaigh nó na fiacla deirí
slis géill
nó cnapán/cnap drandail
nó b'fhéidir an fhiacail a bhfuil níos mó fhada deireadh i do cheann
a éiri bata i do láimh

franc 91 · **Posted:** Thu 15 Sep 2011 3:52 pm

So he dressed himself and he ate his share and said his prayer
and he asked God to put himself on his proper way for his welfare.

Putting some kind of similar rhyme into the Irish isn't going to work, I suppose

Amhlaidh a chuid éadaigh a chuir air agus d'ith sé a chuidsean is a phaidir dúirt sé
agus ar Dia d'iarr sé a chuir i a cheartsa slí é do a leas
- I'm sure there are quite few mistakes there too.

franc 91 · **Posted:** Thu 15 Sep 2011 4:35 pm

And he took his hound and his hawk and his gun
And his road was there before him, away he went, through the snow.

Agus ghlan sé a chú agus a sheabhac agus a ghunna
Agus bhí ansiúd a bhealach roimhe, d'imigh sé, tríd an sneachta.

Bríd Mhór · **Joined:** Sun 28 Aug 2011 8:29 pm **Posts:** 2996

franc 91 wrote:

But I have it tonight may ye have it
fifteen times better tomorrow night,
or if not may ye not lose in the attempt
but the front teeth or the back teeth
a slice of the jaw
or a lump of the gum
or maybe the tooth that's furthest back in your head
to be for a staff in your hand.

An ní/rud atá agamsa anocht go mbeidh sé chúig oiread déag agatsa sa n-oíche amárach,
mura mbeidh nár gcaillfí sibh san iarracht,
ach slis don ghiall,
meall ón drandal,
nó b’fhéidir an cúil-fhiacail is faide siar le bata láimhe a dhéanamh dó.

I left out "in do cheann" because where else would you have teeth.

Bríd Mhór · **Joined:** Sun 28 Aug 2011 8:29 pm **Posts:** 2996

franc 91 wrote:

So he dressed himself and he ate his share and said his prayer
and he asked God to put himself on his proper way for his welfare.

Ghléas sé é féin, d'ith sé a chuid[sean], agus dúirt sé a pháidir,
[usually plural in Irish- A chuid páidreachaí]
agus d'iarr sé ar Dhia é a chuir ar shlí a leasadh.

I'm useless at rhyming Franc. Probably others will do better.

franc 91 · **Posted:** Thu 15 Sep 2011 6:25 pm

A Bhríd thank you so much - this is a story I have written down from a recording of Seamus Ennis called Féidlim Tonn Rí and I know for a fact that it comes from the Irish oral tradition.

Bríd Mhór · **Joined:** Sun 28 Aug 2011 8:29 pm **Posts:** 2996

franc 91 wrote:

And he took his hound and his hawk and his gun
And his road was there before him, away he went, through the snow.

Agus ghlan sé a chú agus a sheabhac agus a ghunna
Agus bhí ansiúd a bhealach roimhe, d'imigh sé, tríd an sneachta.

That's ok, but do you really need to repeat "and/agus" at all -
Thug sé leis a chú, a sheabhac, agus a ghunna,

Bríd Mhór · **Joined:** Sun 28 Aug 2011 8:29 pm **Posts:** 2996

franc 91 wrote:

A Bhríd thank you so much - this is a story I have written down from a recording of Seamus Ennis called Féidlim Tonn Rí and I know for a fact that it comes from the Irish oral tradition.

You are very welcome Franc. But I'm sure it needs a bit of tweeking or spelling corrections yet.

Bríd Mhór · **Joined:** Sun 28 Aug 2011 8:29 pm **Posts:** 2996

Opps, somehow didn't notice page one.

go with what Breandán and Koko said.

franc 91 · **Posted:** Fri 16 Sep 2011 8:03 am

He travelled a long way and he was thinking of turning back again,
he had seen nothing that he could shoot at
when he saw a crow or a raven
away above him in the distance , in the sky.

I'm not at all sure how to put this -
Thaistil é bealach fada agus bhí ag smaoineamh a chasadh ar ais
chonaic sé aon rud ........ a fhéadir leis a tugadh sé anuas
(how do you put - had seen - that he could shoot at - into Irish?)

nuair chonaic sé préachán nó fiach dubh
i bhfad ar shiúl thuas leis (or é?) i gcéin, sa spéir.

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